Refund and Returns Policy

Last updated 06.07.23

While we do our best to offend people with our range of tees, sometimes you might not be happy with your purchase, or maybe your husband mistakenly bought a man’s t-shirt when he really needed something more feminine. In such an event you may return an item to us for a full refund or in exchange for an item of lesser or equal value. Please see below for more information on our return policy.


All returns must be postmarked within 30 days of the purchase date. All returned items must be in new condition and in their original packaging, and will be inspected for greasy fingerprints, pheromones and pubic hair. Any evidence of such will render the item ineligible for a refund, in which case we recommend you try re-selling it to perverts on Ebay.


To return an item, please email customer service at in order to initiate the process, and an underpaid but technically skilled and highly efficient brown person in one of those poor countries will be in touch as soon as possible, if not they’ll be immediately fired and we’ll be forced to hire the next desperate sonofabitch in line. Be sure to include your name, order number, the details of the item and the reason you wish to return it.

If you would like to exchange your product for another, please include the details of the item you would like to receive in exchange, such as item name, size and colour. And no, you can’t ask for a life-sized cardboard cut out of Tupac in a bikini, it actually has to be something that exists, and not just anywhere, but specifically in our shop.

Once the returns process has begun, please carefully repackage the item and include either the original packing slip, or a note that contains your name and order details so that we can identify your order once it reaches us. We ain’t mind-readers kid! AYY! I’M WALKIN’ HERE!

Please note, you will be responsible for all return shipping charges, because we’re nice, but mama didn’t raise no fools. For that reason we strongly recommend that you use a trackable method to mail your return.


If you would like a refund without returning the item, in the unlikely case of receiving damaged goods or a printing error on our part, or simply because you’re trying to scam us for free merch, then contact the dancing monkeys working hard behind the scenes to ensure customer satisfaction at

Be sure to include clear photos and descriptions of the problem, taking extra care to exclude the mess of your bedroom and the tips of your chubby fingers from the images, while writing in a faux Shakespearean English.

After receiving your return or request for reimbursement and inspecting the condition of your item, we will process your demand. Please allow at least 48 hours from the receipt of your item or refund request for a response from us. Once a decision has been made or a refund confirmed, we will contact you to let you know.

Refunds will include the original shipping costs of the item or items that you return, or that have been accepted for a full reimbursement.

Once initiated, refunds may take 1-2 billing cycles to appear on your credit card statement, depending on your credit card company. We will notify you by email when your return has been processed on our end, so Chill, Winston.


If your item has been accepted for an exchange we will be in contact to notify you of the exact time and meeting place. Come alone, and make sure that you’re not followed. If we even suspect that you’ve contacted the feds the hostage gets it. Alternatively, we’ll email you once the replacement has been dispatched.


The following items cannot be returned or exchanged:

  • Easy-throw¬© Kim Jong Un branded boomerangs
  • The family cow for some magic beans
  • Single-use hypodermic needles

Please Note

I like big butts and I cannot lie.


If you have any questions concerning our return policy, get in touch by sending one of those electronic mails all the kids seem to be talking about at

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